An adventure waiting to happen

I depart North Carolina for Switzerland in a few days for a two week adventure in Europe. I will be visiting Basel, Paris, Antwerp, Freiburg and Luzerne - maybe more! While I am travelling to see an old friend, I will not be travelling with my kids or my husband. I see many places online and in social media chronicling the solo travels of single young women, and, while I am sure it has been done before, I have never seen a person like me share their travels and experiences publicly. And so I thought I would share mine with you!

There are a few reasons I want to do this. One is that I simply want to remember this special time and writing about it will be a fun way to do that. Another is that I would like for this trip to be a time of reflection on my life and my priorities and writing my thoughts has always been a good way to accomplish that.

But why share with the world? The answer to this is my third reason for writing all of this down. As a society we do not see moms as independent creatures and there are so many pressures (internal and external) that discourage women in general and moms specifically from prioritizing their own needs and wants.

There is a perception that if a mom is doing something that is primarily self serving she is denying her child or husband something that is due to them. This is seen in things as small as showering, exercising or having a hobby. These are not luxuries like this trip, but mothers will still deny themselves completely or struggle to include them in their day to day lives. Sometimes this is due to not having a reliable and capable partner and sometimes this is due to an internalized ideal of motherhood driven into our hearts and minds over centuries - or a mix of both. Even when these things are permitted it is often only done as a mother's day present or seen as a magnanimous act of great sacrifice for the other parent.

It is a "special treat" for a mother to enjoy anything outside of serving her family.

Frequently we see women returning from trips early after their partner or co-parent has not be able to cope with the day to day tasks of parenting alone, but I believe it is far more common for women to simply never take these trips at all. After all of these things have taken their toll - guilt, needing to provide lists of tasks, constantly send reminders, preparing meals to be fed to the children while you are gone, fear that even with all this help your partner will simply not pay attention and your child will be at risk.... after all of this, the joy of the travel, learning and exploration has been replaced by hassle, guilt, stress and the potential for marital conflict. So they understandably just never go.

I am writing this and sharing this because I feel that it would be good for others like me to see someone else like them doing these things so that they know they can too. See what it could be like. Is my husband handle everything perfectly? No (but neither would I!). Will my kids miss me while I am gone? They certainly will. Will I still feel guilt from time to time? Of course. However, I am confident we will all benefit from these next few weeks and I can't wait to share it with you.